Satanic voices - A desperate cry for help

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

As'salamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I do not know where to begin or where to end in order to delineate my desperate and completely devastating situation. Perhaps saying AUDHUBILLAH for as many times as one can possibly say would be a good start, Allahu a3lam.

I am 27 years old now and have had this problem since my adolescent years, subhanAllah. For years I did not know where to turn in order to get guidance. In fact, it has always been my conviction that I could not talk about it with anyone - that it simply must have been haraam. This is still my conviction but I have come to realize that maybe, just maybe, I am obligated to seek for guidance and direction. Therefore I hope and yearn that you will be able to help me insha'Allah.

Bismillah,

When I try to perform salat or read the holy Qur'an or do dhikr or make dua, in fact every single time I am supposed to praise Allah (swt) by myself I hear demonic or perhaps even satanic voices in my head doing just the opposite, subhanAllah wa audhubillah!
I cannot and will not make myself reproduce the extremely unrespectful things that I hear. I can only say that the nature of it goes beyond any imagination and that it is highly devastating. For years I have tried to deal with the problem with sabr and by turning to Allah (swt) but it always manages to return and destroy any contact that I have had and still have with my Creator. Consequently there have been several more or less long-term periods for the past ten or fifteen years where I have abandoned making salat in order to free myself from these voices. I do not hear them when I am not "standing face to face" with my Creator, which is the only reason for the abondonments of my salat. But I cannot live without worshipping and submitting to Allah (swt).

Can you help me, by the will of Allah (swt)?
Every time it happens during salat, dhikr or dua it feels as if I am being hit by eletrochok. My entire body shakes and I feel an urge to cry even though I cannot cry.
I feel deeply ashamed, constantly, and I fear my Lord. I seek refuge in Allah and I hope that He will forgive me if I was supposed to keep this problem to my self. I am devastated.

Wasalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Dear Brother,

I pray this message reaches you in a better state.

Difficult as it may seem, your first responsibility is to maintain your prayers. Abandoning your prayers effectively severs your connection to Allah Most High. This is what shaytan wants, so don't succumb to the devil's suggestions.

Continue seeking refuge in Allah Most High from the accursed devil.

Recite the Qur'an constantly, particularly the refuging verses of Surat al-Falaq and Surat an-Nas.

Take steps to cut off any type of unlawful activity in your life. Make sure that your income is halal and your food is halal.

Strive to create an environment in your home that is replete with the remembrance of Allah the Exalted.

And please do not hesitate to seek people's help. My first suggestion is to seek out the help of a scholar who is well-versed in tasawwuf, the science of purification of the heart.

And please do not be reluctant about seeking medical and psychiatric help. Demonic voices in the head might possibly be evidence of mental illness. This is not something to be ashamed about. Allah willing, there are treatments out there that you could seek.

And last but not least, please remember that we are not held to account for passing thoughts of unbelief. We are held to account for what we believe in our hearts.

Please see these articles:

Having Doubts About Allah

Are bad thoughts counted against you by the recording angels

Thoughts of Unbelief

I pray that Allah Ta'ala eases your difficulties, clears your mind, and replaces all bad thoughts with good ones.

And Allah knows best.