A Victim of Sexual Abuse...

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray this message reaches you in better health and spirits.

Please bear with me, as a few points need to be discussed:

1. Too often, sexual abuse is swept under the carpet in our communities. This does not help; in fact, it makes matters worse because the perpetrators believe that they can get away with their actions.

2. When someone is sexually abused by a family member, this a double betrayal. First, that person broke the trust of kinship. Second, that person took advantage of the family member's loyalty not to reveal the secret.

3. Healing from sexual abuse is a lifelong process, which involves both the individual and the family. Until the family acknowledges that you were hurt and they failed to protect you, things will not move forward. Until the abuser takes responsibility for his actions, things will not go forward. And until you stop blaming yourself, things will not move forward.

4. Things are not alright and you should not pretend otherwise. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help. In fact, you owe this to yourself. Your family also needs to seek therapy. You've mentioned other disturbing incidents, including attempted suicide. All of these problems need to be dealt with. Pretending that's everything's okay is a sure recipe for disaster since these problems will continue to fester.

5. I understand that you're concerned about your parents' health. Yes, they might not have the best reaction if you seek therapy. But you owe it to yourself to begin the healing process. And until you begin to heal yourself, it's not going to be possible to help those around you.

May Allah Ta'ala give you and your family healing from these illnesses and forgiveness for your sins.

And Allah knows best.