Mother indulges in backbiting

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray that this message finds you and your mother well.

You might want to impress upon your mother that there's a lot of benefit in saying something good or keeping silent. For example, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak what is good or remain silent."

Furthermore, backbiting is an enormity, something so serious that Allah Ta'ala mentions it in the Qur'an, comparing it to eating one's brother's flesh. "O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful" (Al-Hujurat, 49:12).

Obviously, you're not going to come right out and say, "Mom, please be quiet!" But what you could do, for example, if you hear someone else, such as your sibling or child, make similar remarks about people, then you remind them of Allah's words. This might encourage your mother to reflect a little.

Another thing you can do is to change the subject when your mother starts backbiting. Steering the conversation to something more positive might get your mother in a better frame of mind. Also, try to say something nice about these people.

See what you can do about enhancing your mother's self-esteem. If she's being mistreated by these people, then you need to do what you can to put an end to it. Let people know that they don't have a right to mistreat your mother.

I pray that Allah Ta'ala replaces all bitter feelings with those of love and contentment.

And Allah knows best.