Family members are non-practicing, married to non-Muslims...

What is the advice of the scholars for people whose brothers married Christian women and are non-practicing? One of the wives is herself very lax in practice, but sends the children to the church down her street b/c the husband is too lazy or thinks that there will always "be time" to drive them to the masjid 10 miles away. The other wife is actively attempting to convert the husband to born-again Christianity and sends their daughter to a born-again day care.

The people can not see their relatives but once every two or three years. The husband has tried to talk to his brothers again and again, but there is no impact on the brains. The people are concerned about the children of these unions. One older one says she doesn't want to be Muslim b/c it means giving up the pork her mother lets her eat outside of the house. The people pray for the children (as well as their parents!), and have offered to take at least one to send to school in the city where they live, but to no avail. There is no real opportunity to be around them more often to have a more positive impact on the kids (and their parents!). 

The other (Muslim) brothers and sisters don't give a hoot about what is going on. They are just so pleased that they have blonde shorts-wearing sisters in law who are more "fun" than people who have to stop every few hours to pray for five minutes. The other brothers and sisters make fun of their religious brother and his wife, and play "jokes" on them like trying to pull off the wife's hijab at a semi-mixed wedding. The parents of the brothers and sisters were good Muslims who taught their children to pray. The brothers and sisters will say that they are Muslims and love Islam, and none of them, including probably the brother who is married to the born-again Christian, would consider converting to another religion. 

What is the ruling as far as relations with these types of people? The people want to have good relations and not sever them, so as not to be in the haram, but they are concerned for their own diyn. They give money to their brothers and sisters when it is needed, and they visit them and love their children, but there is so much haram present at the same time (free mixing, etc). Also, they are heartbroken when they enter a "Muslim" home full of Bibles and books on how to convert non believing husbands to Christianity. They are making du'a, and gave some very nice books with beautiful language to the brothers (to invite them back to Islam in a beautiful way), but the wife is in tears every day at the thought of her brothers taking their wives and children and selves down the path to the hellfire. Is it sufficient only to keep phone relations with them?

A ssalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah the Inspirer of truth.

The Prophet (upon him be peace) continued to preach to even those who continuously rejected his call. He would naturally feel anguished at this and Allah said to him:

Taa Sin Mim. These are verses from the Qur'an that makes things clear. It may thou will kill thyself with grief, that they do not become believers. (al-Qur'an26:1-3)

Unfortunately there are situations where a person once to just give up. It is praiseworthy to feel anguished at others not following the true path of Islam. However, if one has to put up with ridicule and jokes, such as having one's wife's hijab pulled off and taking part in mixed gatherings then such intimate gatherings have to be avoided. One can decrease their personal visits. It does not seem advisable however to completely sever all ties with these brothers and their families since they do not have anyone else. Maybe one can restrict their visits to just short personal ones at their home (without taking the whole family) and avoid parties and other such functions with them.

One should keep advising with politeness, care and wisdom to them. One day, if Allah wills, these words will find their target.

Another point to look into is to see if you can convince these brothers to send their children to Islamic classes at the masjid (if such a system is existent) or have someone come and teach them at home. This is the setup in many areas where an Islamic teacher or scholar would visit people's home and teach their children in the house. If the brothers can be convinced of ensuring their children's Islamic education, that will be a great step in setting them on the path of iman and belief. One can also see if they can find some sincere local Muslims in that area who could befriend these families and help them. Maybe even car-pool the children to the Masjid and Islamic programs, etc.

May Allah bring fruits to your efforts.

Wassalam
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf