How to deal with relatives who do excessive gheebah against my family
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Question
My mother's sister tells lies and makes up stories about my wife and spreads this throughout our family all over the world. Many of the things which she says are outrageous and very far from truth. We have not yet confronted her regarding this and up till now she does not know that I and my wife know about her backbiting and slandering. I feel like breaking relations with her because of the severity and outrageousness of the comments she has made. I was thinking to tell her how I know about all the lies she has said and to stop all such slandering, and thereafter not talk to her or visit her and basically just avoid her family. Is this Islamically
justified/recommended? Her exact relation to me again is my mother's sister.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message reaches you in good health and spirits.
My apologies for the delay.
Slandering another Muslim is an enormity, that is, amajor sin.According to Reliance of the Traveller, "slander and talebearing are two of the ugliest and most frequently met with qualities among men, few people being safe from them." In Surat al-Hujurat, verse 12, Allah Most High says, "Do not slander one another." [Reliance, r2.0-2.5]
The one who slanders is obligated to repent. He or she must also seek forgiveness from the person they slandered. In this case, since your wife knows about the slander, your aunt is obligated to beg her forgiveness. [Reliance, p77.3]
It is unlawful to listen to slander. When one is able, then one must stop the slander by either correcting the person, changing the topic of conversation, or leaving the premises. Therefore, you are obligated to let your aunt know that this has to stop. [Reliance, r2.11]
If she continues to slander your wife, you need to go to your relatives and defend your wife's reputation. Doing nothing will send the message that you condone this type of behavior. Encourage your family members to put a stop to this by refusing to listen to any negative talk about your wife.
Cutting off ties is generally not allowed. However, if your aunt continues to slander your wife, then you need to keep her away from your wife. Your wife is not obliged to keep contact with your aunt. You can be polite to your aunt, but keep contact to a minimum until she makes amends.
I pray that you can work everything out.
And Allah knows best.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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