Attending mixed racial marriages and marriage of those who convert for marriage
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Question
We live in the US, and are first and second generation Muslims here. In our community there is an increasing number of mixed weddings taking place. These are Muslim girls marrying Christian boys who are taking the Shahada a few months before the wedding. My question is are we allowed to go to these weddings? In practical matters the intentions of these boys is only known to Allah. And these girls are not going to wait to "witness" whether the boys' conversion is total and sincere. I am of mixed feelings because I go back to the story of the Prophet, saw, getting angry at the Muslim fighter who killed a kafir enemy just after he had said the Kalmah, saying only Allah knew what was in his heart. How should we treat these marriages in today's time?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Questioner,
I pray this message reaches you in excellent health and spiritual states.
Insha'Allah, I would like to address several aspects of your question.
1. Mixed racial marriages: Your decision to attend a wedding should not be based on the race of the bride and groom. Rather, you should attend out of happiness for the couple and to obey the Sunna of the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, which was to attend weddings, provided there is no haram (unlawful) activity taking place.
Historically, the spread of Islam was due in large part to the fact that Muslims married people of diverse backgrounds. As Muslims living in North America, we need to be sensitive to the whole issue of race. What exactly is race? Whose definitions are we going by? And aren't we all bani Adam, children of Adam?
2. Muslim girls marrying new converts: I understand your concern here. Sadly, there have been some instances of Muslim girls marrying new converts, only to have these young men leave Islam, sometimes taking the girls with them. However, it is not fair to judge people based on the actions of a few. A large percentage of Muslims in North America are converts. In fact, some of our most respected scholars, such as Hamza Yusuf, Zaid Shakir, and Umar Faruq Abdallah, are converts. We have no right to judge the quality of people's iman, when we don't even know what state we will die in. As the hadith you mentioned says, only Allah knows what's in people's hearts.
3. Finally, as long as the boys in question have declared shahada, then we should treat these marriages as we would any other. We wish them well and pray that Allah blesses their union. And we should try to befriend these new Muslims and show them the beautiful ways of Islam. New Muslims sometimes face an uphill battle in gaining acceptance from "born Muslims." Let's do all we can to make their lives easier.
And Allah knows best.
Zaynab Ansari.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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