Living with my husband's family

Assalam Alaikum,

I have been married for almost 5 years and have lived with my husbands family in the family house. I have to wear hijab because he has brothers. I have children and find it increasingly difficult to live up to the family expectations. Is it my duty to cook and clean for my in laws? also on many occasions my father in law insults me in front of guests- saying things like i don't know how to bring up my children, he also passes comments on what time i get up, what i wear, how i treat the children..they are spoiling the children by opposing anything i say- with regards to their eating, sleeping etc.
I have mentioned to my husband that i cannot live like this- but he loves his parents a lot- he says he cannot tolerate my complaining and has even threatened to divorce me. What are my rights in a situation like this? I feel like a prisoner.

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray this message finds you well.

Your rights in this situation:

1. Private lodging, separate from that of your in-laws. At a minimum, your husband is obligated to provide you with your own living area, bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. You have the right to have your own space in which non-mahram males, such as his brothers, may not enter.

2. You are under no obligation to cook for your husband's parents. Anything you do for his parents in terms of cooking and cleaning is sadaqa, or charity from your behalf. Instead of mistreating you, they should be thanking you for your kindness.

3. Good treatment: your father-in-law does not have the right to insult you, whether it's in front of people, or in private. You don't need to tolerate this. And your husband needs to put an end to this unacceptable behavior immediately.

Finally, please see this related article at SunniPath:

A Wife's Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws and Others

Please consult a reliable scholar for more assistance.