Women abusing men
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Question
In cases of domestic violence it is usually the man abusing the woman; however, what if the situation is reversed? What should a husband do if his wife's anger is unjustified, verbally very abusive, and finally has resulted in her physically hitting him? The husband tried to restrain her while remaining calm, but finally he felt like he might have to use considerable force to make her stop, which caused him to leave the house. The woman's mother suggested that he not speak to her for four days, but he is unable to comply with her advice.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Merciful, and Compassionate.
With prayers and salutations upon the Best of Creation, Allah bless him and give him peace.
Dear Questioner,
Asalaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatu Llahi wa Barakatuhu
I pray that this message reaches you in the best of health and well being. Amin.
If the wife is having a problem with unjustified anger and the inability to control her violent actions, the first thing the husband should do is take his wife to meet with a pious scholar with whom they can discuss these behavioral issues.
He or she should be able determine if medical treatment is needed. If medical treatment is suggested, follow up this advice by consulting a Muslim Physician.
Less than that, the best way the husband can help his wife is by placing her in the good company of righteous Muslims. Such violent behavior may stem from ignorance or the lack of a present heart making remembrance of the Lord. Good company and Islamic knowledge will naturally calm her heart and influence her to goodly actions.
If after taking these measures she still persists in violent behavior, the husband should separate from her, while still supporting her, until she realizes her mistakes and takes measures to resolve her issues earnestly.
These steps may take a lot of time, months or even years, but the patience and effort of the husband will be reward by Allah Almighty.
If, after taking these steps, the wife still persists in this behavior the husband should consult a scholar before initiating a divorce.
Abuse is not the objective of marriage. Rather, the objective is mercy and love. The blessing of marriage should not be made mockery of by violent and oppressive actions.
And Allah Knows Best.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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