Dealing with non-muslim sister and family.
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Question
Asaalaamu Aleykoem,
I converted a year ago to islam. Alhamdoeliah. This journey has been so fulfilling and I still feel the same as the day I took the shahadah(vow). However my family is really depressed, we are driven away from each other. My sister is going astray at school and is hanging arround with bad people, who are of bad influnce, alcohol and going out. I warned her, but it didn't help, because she said I did also in my kufr-time. She is feeling lonely I guess and I don't know what the islamic relationship between a sister(younger) and brother(older) should be.
I told her about death, and I think I freaked her out, scared her.
My family is falling apart, astray. My parents are threatening me, by saying that they will throw away the Holy Quran.Astagfirullah.
I'm so afraid that I skipped school a few times. I'm unable to participate in any islamic classes, my parents prohibited me from that. Could I ignore that, or did Allah(SWT) and RasoellAllah(pbuh) order me to obey?
How can I obtain akhlaaq, adaab (etiqutes of drinking, eating, everything else..) and hikma so I could invite them to islam? Without a teacher.
Sometimes I think I should just ignore them and go to the masjid, I missed a lot of jummah prayers because of this.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I know that your situation is difficult now, but insha'Allah, you will find that entering Islam will expand your horizons and enrich your life in ways that were never before possible.
Your parents do not have the right to prevent you from learning about Islam. We are required to obey our parents in what is halal or lawful. However, when they try to come between us and our Lord, we cannot let that happen.
What you must do is strive to be the best son possible in terms of loving and honoring your parents. But you must also stand firm by your beliefs and your right to practice your faith.
I strongly urge you to go to the masjid. You need to surround yourself with fellow believers. Isolation is not healthy.
Although it is prefererable to have a teacher in your locale who can help you in your journey to Allah and teach you the necessary knowledge of your deen (religion), there are other means of learning. SunniPath offers excellent online courses that feature both basic and advanced knowledge of Islamic worship, law, etiquette, and lifestyle. I highly recommend that you look into taking a course here.
Please don't give up on your little sister. You will always be her brother. Continue to look out for her by giving her good advice and offering an ear when she needs someone to talk to.
One last note, if your parents are threatening to throw your copy of the Holy Qur'an away, then you need to conceal it until they learn to behave themselves. And you need to insist that they give the Qur'an the respect that is due every holy book even though they might not agree with it.
And Allah knows best.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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