For Aasiya Zubair Hassan

In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Praise be to Allah.

May Allah bless and give peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and followers.

I have been contemplating posting on SunniPath’s blog for some time. However, the demands of motherhood and juggling multiple responsibilities have prevented me from putting my thoughts together in any coherent fashion.

Nonetheless, my heart and mind have been reeling from news which has shocked the North American Muslim community and provided Islamophobia’s representatives with yet more cannon fodder for the vilification of our beautiful religion and its adherents.

Sister Aasiya Hassan, co-founder of the Bridges TV network, was brutally murdered by her husband on Thursday, February 12, 2009, Safar 16, 1430.

Together, Aasiya and her husband, Muzzammil, brought Muslim-oriented programming to Muslims and members of other faith communities across the United States. Their vision was to provide television audiences with a positive image of Islam and Muslim life.

I did not know Sister Aasiya, but I remember seeing her on the cover of Azizah Magazine some years ago, dressed in her bridal finery. She spoke of her enthusiasm for the Bridges TV project and talked of her husband and family. She wanted to counter the images of violent, angry Muslims that were widespread in mainstream American media, particularly after September 11, 2001.

Now Sister Aasiya is dead and all of us are asking why.

Her precious life was taken unlawfully, in an act of unspeakable violence.

Moreover, this innocent woman lost her life at the hands of her husband, the one person who was entrusted with her protection, care, and support…the person who ostensibly shared her vision for a peaceful representation of Islam.

Before anyone demands to know what evidence I have proving her husband’s guilt, let me say that he walked into the police station after the crime and told law officers that his wife was dead and disclosed the location of her body.

The only question I have for this man is: Why?

Sister Aasiya was dismayed at the hostility to which Muslim Americans were subjected on a daily basis.

Why did she have to lose her life to her husband’s own demons?

The demons of anger, hatred, and rage are the absolute worst because they deprive human beings of the faculty of rational judgment and overwhelm any manifestation of compassion or conscience.

It is this type of anger which our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, warned against when he said to the man who came seeking counsel:

Do not get angry.

Despite the man’s repeated requests for further advice, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, made a point of reiterating his statement:

Do not get angry.

This rigorously authenticated transmission has been commented upon by a number of scholars. Imam Nawawi, one of the most eminent of these commentators, stated that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, realized that anger was a natural trait of human beings and had the ability to well up in all of us. However, the exhortation in this hadith is not so much that we have to avoid anger altogether, but that we must not, under any circumstances, act upon a state of anger. Why? Because acting upon one’s anger can have untold consequences for the enraged person and the object of his rage. Anger is literally from the devil and is one of Shaytan’s greatest weapons against the believer. That is why our noble Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, taught us a number of ways to protect against anger, the foremost of which is seeking refuge in Allah Most High, performing ablution, and removing ourselves from the situation.

Anger is devastating.

And in this terrible case, unchecked anger, hatred, and rage have resulted in the taking of an innocent woman’s life and the destruction of an entire family. There are children who have been immeasurably harmed by this…children who no longer have a mother or a father.

The only positive event to have come out of such ugliness is that a nationwide campaign is now underway to educate the Muslim community about the devastating impact of domestic violence on men, women, children, and families.

What is tragic, however, is that it took a crime so heinous for us to finally pay attention to a problem which has been long festering in our communities.

I will conclude by posting an eloquent reminder and call to action by Imam Mohamed Hagmagid Ali, vice president of the Islamic Society of North America and director of the ADAMS center in Virginia.

Please read what the Imam has to say. He has years of experience counseling Muslim families in crisis.

My personal plea to all of you is not to ignore the distress of your fellow believer. Allah Most High says, “How is it with you, that you do not fight in the way of God, and for the men, women, and children who, being abased, say, ‘Our Lord, bring us forth from this city whose people are evildoers, and appoint to us a protector from Thee, and appoint to us from Thee a helper’?” (Al-Nisa’: 4:75)

While it is not possible for most of us to answer the call of distressed and oppressed Muslims in overseas lands, we can do something about Muslims right here in our local communities who are suffering oppression at the hands of other Muslims.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace said, “Help your brother whether he is an oppressor or he is oppressed.” The people said, “O Messenger of Allah, it is alright to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?” The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “By preventing him from oppressing others.” (Bukhari)

Henceforth, let us all resolve to take action to prevent another believer from being harmed. This means speaking out if you know of someone with a history of violence who is planning to marry a member of the community. This means not turning women and children away who come complaining of violence and abuse. This means not shaming women from seeking their God-given rights within Islamic marriage. And this means not closing our eyes when all the signs of oppression and abuse are evident.

In Sister Aasiya’s case there were signs, but, tragically, people chose to ignore them.

May Allah Most High give her peace, light, and the highest place in the Gardens of Paradise. May He give her grieving family patience to bear what must surely be a tremendous load.

And with the remembrance of Allah alone surely do hearts find rest.

RESPONDING TO THE KILLING OF AASIYA HASSAN: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LEADERS OF AMERICAN MUSLIM COMMUNITIES

By Imam Mohamed Hagmagid Ali
Executive Director, ADAMS Center
Vice-President, The Islamic Society of North America

The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) is saddened and shocked by the news of the loss of one of our respected sisters, Aasiya Hassan whose life was taken violently. To God we belong and to Him we return (Qur’an 2:156). We pray that she find peace in God’s infinite Mercy, and our prayers and sympathies are with sister Aasiya’s family. Our prayers are also with the Muslim community of Buffalo who have been devastated by the loss of their beloved sister and the shocking nature of this incident.

This is a wake up call to all of us, that violence against women is real and can not be ignored. It must be addressed collectively by every member of our community. Several times each day in America, a woman is abused or assaulted. Domestic violence is a behavior that knows no boundaries of religion, race, ethnicity, or social status. Domestic violence occurs in every community. The Muslim community is not exempt from this issue. We, the Muslim community, need to take a strong stand against domestic violence. Unfortunately, some of us ignore such problems in our community, wanting to think that it does not occur among Muslims or we downgrade its seriousness.

I call upon my fellow imams and community leaders to never second-guess a woman who comes to us indicating that she feels her life to be in danger. We should provide support and help to protect the victims of domestic violence by providing for them a safe place and inform them of their rights as well as refer them to social service providers in our areas.

Marriage is a relationship that should be based on love, mutual respect and kindness. No one who experiences a marriage that is built on these principles would pretend that their life is in danger. We must respond to all complaints or reports of abuse as genuine and we must take appropriate and immediate action to ensure the victim’s safety, as well as the safety of any children that may be involved.

Women who seek divorce from their spouses because of physical abuse should get full support from the community and should not be viewed as someone who has brought shame to herself or her family. The shame is on the person who committed the act of violence or abuse. Our community needs to take a strong stand against abusive spouses. We should not make it easy for people who are known to abuse to remarry if they have already victimized someone. We should support people who work against domestic violence in our community, whether they are educators, social service providers, community leaders, or other professionals.

Our community needs to take strong stand against abusive spouses and we should not make it easy for them to remarry if they chose a path of abusive behavior. We should support people who work against domestic violence in our community, whether they are educators or social service providers. As Allah says in the Qur’an: “O ye who believe! Stand firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do” (4:136).

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never hit a women or child in his life. The purpose of marriage is to bring peace and tranquility between two people, not fear, intimidation, belittling, controlling, or demonizing. Allah the All-Mighty says in the Qur’an: “Among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (30:21),

We must make it a priority to teach our young men in the community what it means to be a good husband and what the role the husband has as a protector of his family. The husband is not one who terrorizes or does harm and jeopardizes the safety of his family. At the same time, we must teach our young women not to accept abuse in any way, and to come forward if abuse occurs in the marriage. They must feel that they are able to inform those who are in authority and feel comfortable confiding in the imams and social workers of our communities.

Community and family members should support a woman in her decision to leave a home where her life is threatened and provide shelter and safety for her. No imam, mosque leader or social worker should suggest that she return to such a relationship and to be patient if she feels the relationship is abusive. Rather they should help and empower her to stand up for her rights and to be able to make the decision of protecting herself against her abuser without feeling she has done something wrong, regardless of the status of the abuser in the community.

A man’s position in the community should not affect the imam’s decision to help a woman in need. Many disasters that take place in our community could have been prevented if those being abused were heard. Domestic violence is not a private matter. Any one who abuses their spouse should know that their business becomes the business of the community and it is our responsibility to do something about it. She needs to tell someone and seek advice and protection.

Community leaders should also be aware that those who isolate their spouses are more likely to also be physically abusive, as isolation is in its own way a form of abuse. Some of the abusers use the abuse itself to silence the women, by telling her “If you tell people I abused you, think how people will see you, a well-known person being abused. You should keep it private.”

Therefore, to our sisters, we say: your honor is to live a dignified life, not to put on the face that others want to see. The way that we measure the best people among us in the community is to see how they treat their families. It is not about how much money one makes, or how much involvement they have in the community, or the name they make for themselves. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) said, “The best among you are those who are best to their families.”

It was a comfort for me to see a group of imams in our local community, as well as in the MANA conference signing a declaration promising to eradicate domestic violence in our community. Healthy marriages should be part of a curriculum within our youth programs, MSA conferences, and seminars as well as part of our adult programs in our masajid and in our khutbahs.

The Islamic Society of North America has done many training workshops for imams on combating domestic violence, as has the Islamic Social Service Associate and Peaceful Families Project. Organizations, such as FAITH Social Services in Herndon, Virginia, serve survivors of domestic violence. All of these organizations can serve as resources for those who seek to know more about the issues of domestic violence.

Faith Trust Institute, one of the largest interfaith organizations, with Peaceful Families Project, has produced a DVD in which many scholars come together to address this issue. I call on my fellow imams and social workers to use this DVD for training others on the issues of domestic violence. (For information, go to the website: http://www.faithtrustinstitute.org/). For more information, or to access resources and materials about domestic violence, please visit www.peacefulfamilies.org.

In conclusion, Allah says in the Qur’an “O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong; and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs” (31:17). Let us pray that Allah will help us to stand for what is right and leave what is evil and to promote healthy marriages and peaceful family environments. Let us work together to prevent domestic violence and abuse and especially, violence against women.
Related Documents

* Guidelines for Imams with Victims of Domestic Violence
* Guidelines for Imams with an Abusive Person