Married out of convenience only… had right of divorce and exercised it… now he seeks to repair things…

My husband has 2 kids from his first wife, gave her divorce and married me. Only Nikah was performed for processing Canadian immigration. I have the right of talaq. I took care of him but his behavior of giving tanas, taking out his anger on me, using abusive language for me and my family words like ... this was going on for more then a year. I did istikhara before Nikah it came negative but I married him. My life has been full of tension, tears & agony. I could not do anything without taking his prior permission but I did it all. He never used to use these words with his friends and colleagues and on questioning him why he act like this he said I have comfort zone with my wife that's why I behave like this with her, but I love her. Now I have taken divorce and am waiting for 90 days. My husband realized now and ask for forgiveness now, he is asking for me to come back saying that he loves me, we will start from scratch, I also have strong feelings for him, at times I want to give him chance but now I have this big fear in me. I told him I want to do istikhara but he insist don't do that as it came negative first time. He was in touch but now no disappeared. Pls. guide me and tell me what to do. If istikhara comes positive should I go back, but my family will never be happy at all. I am under major depression pls. tell me dua to heal myself. Can I work during 90 days I need money?

 

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful

You are the best judge in making the decision of marrying this person again. Having been through this experience once before you must have gained some understanding of this man's character and mentality.

If you honestly think he can be true to his word and not put you through abuse again then you are free to initiate another marriage with him. However, if this is not so, then we would advice against an emotional decision under his persuasions, and also against your families wishes.

At present you are free to look elsewhere and make a conscious decision of who to marry. If you do not think this person will be able to live up to his promises then take him out of your mind and find some one else. may Allah assist you and guide you to make the correct decision.

As a divorcee you are entitled to receive expenses from your husband for the waiting period [idda]. however, if he refuses to pay and you have no other means of support or funds then you may leave the house as per necessity to work. (Radd al-Muhtar 2:620).

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam
Abdurrahman Ibn Yusuf