Arranged marriages, and talking to my fiancée
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How do you answer non-Muslims as well as some Muslims about the arranged marriage in Islam? It is really hard to explain when asked how two people can marry without ever knowing each each other. Another thing is, are we allowed to e-mail our fiancee? And if we are allowed, what are the things Islam allows us to talk about and what are the things it prohibits? If we are not allowed to talk, please say so, because no one wants to get in sin even if it is an innocent one.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah, 1. Arranged marriage are a means to fulfilling the sunna of marriage. They are not in themselves recommended by the Shariah, nor disliked. Given the nature of traditional societies, traditional limits of gender interaction, and the expectations that men and women had for their spouses, arranged marriages were an effective means of finding a spouse. However, Islamically, both men and women have the full right to choose their spouse, and to refuse unsuitable matches suggested by parents, particularly those incompatible or irreligious. As such, a child—whether male or female—being forced to marry against their will goes against the teachings of the Shariah, and such marriages may even be legally invalid. (See previous link).
2. It is permitted to exchange e-mails with one’s fiancée, but within the limits of Islamic propriety while taking care to avoid emotional or loving conversation that could lead to the impermissible. See: “Can I Talk To My Fiance?” See also: “Interaction limits for engaged couples...” And Allah alone gives success. Wassalam.
Faraz Rabbani
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This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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