Thoughts of others while married

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

1. Thinking of women other than one’s wife in a sexual way is sinful and prohibited. [Ibn Abidin, below]

2. Thoughts that come to one are excused. However, thoughts that one dwells on and ‘fixes’ oneself to are sinful and prohibited. [Ibn Nujaym, below, 2^nd article.]

3. Such thoughts normally come as a result of being involved in desire-related sins, such as looking at that which is unlawful. Thus, prevention entails leaving such sin.

4. The immediate solution is to:

a) Seek refuge to Allah from Shaytan, immediately. [By sayingAu`dhu billahi min ash-shaytanir rajeem (‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan.’)

b) Repent [see details below] and seek Allah’s forgiveness [such as by saying Astaghfirullah (‘I seek Allah’s forgiveness’) wholeheartedly]

c) Thank Allah wholeheartedly for the blessing of having a wife. Bring to mind all the many positive qualities of your wife, and thank Allah for this blessing. Thank Him for the blessing of having a lawful companion, and a means of experiencing love and mercy.

Allah has promised that, “If you are thankful, we shall increase you.” (Qur’an, Surah Ibrahim, 7)

Thus, if you are thankful for the blessing of marriage, Allah will increase it in baraka, and grant you its joys and fruits, including love, peace of heart and mind, and sufficiency.

And the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) explained to us that the way to increase one’s love for one’s spouse is to focus on all their good points. If you seek the good, Allah increases you in it.

See articles below .

Make the dua the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) gave us when seeking sufficiency in the halal from the haram, wholeheartedly and in a state of need. It is to say:

‘O Allah! Grant me sufficiency in what You have made lawful from what You have made unlawful. And make me free of need, through Your Bounty, of all besides You.’ [Tirmidhi and Ahmad]

Audio:

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[a sound recording of this is attached]

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This dua is also extremely powerful in helping one fulfill one’s debts, for the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “If you had debts as high as Mount Seer, Allah would repay it on your behalf. Say…” [ ibid.]

And Allah alone gives success. So ask Him!

Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani