Husband Obeying His Mother
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Question
Is a husband obligated to obey his mother on issues which are related to his family, or make decisions for his family based on what would please his mother over his wife? i.e. if the couple lives in another state than their families and when they go visit their respective families, his wife would like him to visit her family for a few days and vice versa. but this would displease his mother who wants her son to spend all the vacation time with her. is he obligated to visit the wife's family (and vice versa) or must he try to please his mother and refuse to visit her family. Also, in sub continental cultures, the wife has more obligation to her in-laws than the husband has to her parents. so in order to not disturb the peace, should she visit her in-laws despite the fact that he is not allowed to visit her parents?Answer
Walaikum assalam,
Being good to one's parents is unconditional. Obedience to them, though one of the most important social duties of a Muslim, is has limits.
As such, the husband is not obliged to obey his mother (or father) in issues related to his family life. It is recommended, yes, to listen to one’s parents in such matters, but not when this leads to the non-fulfillment of others’ rights, such as the rights of the wife.
It is a wife’s rights to visit her parents one a week if living in the same city. When visiting from afar, then she has a right to visit them to the extent that is ‘reasonable.’
It is important to realize that we have been commanded to, “Give everyone who has a right their right.” Thus, giving some people (e.g. the parents) their rights does not mean that one not give others (e.g. one’s spouse) their right.
The Chosen One (Allah bless him & give him peace), instructed that the way to please everyone is through good character, and a heart directed to Allah.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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