A Dilemma on the Marriage Trail

Assalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah. the Inspirer of truth.

There does not seem to be anything wrong with your feelings about your not wanting to marry this girl. There is no problem with not marrying someone your parents do not prefer and who you do not feel sufficiently strong about either. Also the fact that you are not inclined even after istikhara may mean that it is not better for you to be married to this sister.

It is incorrect for her to make you think that your iman is weak because you cannot agree to marry her. Just because it is permitted to marry any Muslima (and one is not restricted to marrying only into one's family) does not mean that it is necessarily always the superior or more virtuous option.

There are many factors that need to be assessed when choosing a partner, and more often than not it is more wise to marry someone of the same background, due to many commonalities they may share. However, culturally pressuring someone to marry within the family against their wishes is not religiously correct either.

We would advise you to continue making istikhara until you become firm in your decision whether it be to marry her or not to marry her.

Wassalam
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf