Children’s Concern: No marriage before a Masters Degree or PhD

Assalamu Alaikum,

I empathize with you at this difficult juncture of your life. You are not the only youth who is going through this predicament. There are many more Muslim youth who have the same issue as well and sadly to say, some have succumbed to the desire of the inner self and lost their virginity.

You have to be strong with yourself against the constant barrage and onslaughts of Shaitan who has avowed to lead every human being to the hell fire. In the meantime, you could maybe try to take a local scholar or a family member to explain to your parents about the importance of getting married if you have to and want to. Keep on making Dua to Allah to save you from falling into any sinful acts.

Ebrahim (A.S.) had it easy with respect to breaking idols because they were physically there in front of him. Today, within the deep recesses of some Muslim hearts, idols exist which are near enough impossible to break. Not idols like those of the era of Ebrahim (A.S.), but rather idols of warped ideologies. They are the hardest to break.

It’s really sad that some parents nowadays will not care if their children go out with the opposite gender and intermingle and drive around together and commit many other Haram acts. But when the children ask for permission to get married, they will not grant them permission because of the silly reason that it will look bad in the community because their children are still studying. They care more about what the people will say and less about how they are displeasing Allah.

Parents have this concern that marriage will make their child loose focus in education and it will harm the child. I personally think that it will make the child more focused in many different ways. After marriage, the newly wed don’t really have to stay together 24/7. Maybe the newly wed can get together over the weekend or whatever so that they are not distracted from their studies.

When students go through this dilemma, they end up in one of the following four categories:

The youngster caves in to the desires of his/her soul and sins against Allah by committing fornication. The youngster rebels against the parents and Islam and some times, the youth even elopes in the insanity of youth and blind love.

The youth plays a double life. Pious in front of parents whilst at university, disobeying Allah by committing Haram acts of varying degrees. Some ‘pious’ parents would be shocked if they were to find out what their children are up to when the children are away from home.

The youth abstains from illicit relationships and earns the pleasure of Allah.

The youth gets married early and maintains purity and chastity, thereby resisting illicit pressures and incitements.

I make Dua for you and the entire nation of Muslim youth that He makes them from one of the last two categories and not from the first two. Aameen

A local religious university student gave me some statistics of the condition of Muslim students at university regarding premarital relationships. The statistics were very troublesome and worrying and I was not ready to believe him.

Salam,

Nazim Mangera
Chicago