What is the legal ruling of marriage?

[Source: Live QA Session from Sunni Path Academy course on Essentials of Marriage, www.sunnipath.com/school]

It is important to remember two principles:

1. General rulings do not necessarily apply to all particular situations. [Dabusi, Ta’sis al-Nadhar]

2. Avoiding harm is necessary; and harming another is worse than harming oneself. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

Marriage takes all five rulings in the Shariah. The general ruling is that it is a confirmed sunna. It is superior to marry and be busy in the duties of marriage than to engage in supererogatory worship (in of itself.)

Marriage is necessary (wajib) when one fears falling into sin. But only if:

a) One has the means to marry and support one's spouse;

b) One will be able to fulfill the rights of one's spouse and not wrong them.

[Source: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

When is it obligatory to marry?

Marriage is obligatory when one *knows* that one will commit zina if one doesn't marry. But only if:

a) One has the means to marry and support one's spouse;

b) One will be able to fulfill the rights of one's spouse and not wrong them.

Marriage is disliked when one has reasons to fear not fulfilling the rights of one's spouse, or being a 'wrong-doer'.

And it is haram to marry when one knows that one will not fulfill their rights or will wrong them. It is haram to marry in such a case, even if one knows that one will fall into zina.

Why? Because harming another is worse than harming oneself. This is a very important principle in the Shariah. When someone falls into zina, for example, they are essentially wronging only themselves directly--zina normally takes place between two outwardly consenting individuals. Harming one's spouse, through not fulfilling their rights or wronging them, is more grave than zina--and zina is a major sin.

This is why the ulema emphasize that one should 'prepare oneself' for marriage, by learning what the rights of one's spouse are, and then working on oneself to be able to fulfill these rights.

Many of us growing in the West have hiccups with particular points... We tend to be rights-centered, rather than responsibility-centered. We find it hard to be genuinely thankful. We find it hard to express ourselves emotionally. Maturity is a problem: as Shaykh Hamza puts it, there are many 30 year-old children around...

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani