My Husband's Mother And Sister Are Scheming To Separate Us…
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Question
My husband has sent me away from his house (he said it was for 2 months and now 3 months have gone past without any communication from him). He is an only son and has one older sister who is married and lives away. His sister does not do anything to help me instead she schemes with her mother to separate me from my husband. We lived with his parents. His parents behaved very nicely with me before marriage and stated that they would treat me like their own daughter. The problems started after we came to live with them (my husband says he will never live away from his parents no matter what because he says in Islam heaven is at the feet of his mother and he will never do anything to cause her upset no matter what she does), his mother and father would not allow me to see my parents or family and his mother also started to constantly complain about me to my husband even though her complaints and accusations were all lies.Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.
Dear Sister,
My heart goes out to you. This is a very disturbing situation and is a clear indication of the many things that can go wrong when in-laws and relatives interfere in a couple's relationship.
All I can advise you to do is to contact your husband and appeal to any fear of Allah that He may have and any love for you. It is not correct for him to leave you hanging. The Qur'an speaks very emphatically of the seriousness of leaving a woman hanging where she doesn't know if she's married or divorced.
Living with in-laws can be a very tricky situation. If your husband is not willing to consider your rights in this situation and has made it clear that he will side with his mother no matter what, then you may not be left with any options other than divorce. I know that you don't want divorce, but your husband has not indicated that he can deal justly with you and his parents. The lack of trust, the accusations, the lies...these have thrown up a wall between you and your husband. I'm not sure what exactly the divine punishment is for separating a man from his wife. However, attempting to incite one spouse against the other is an enormity, or a grave sin. According to The Reliance of the Traveller, the Prophet, peace be upon him said, "He who disaffects a person's wife or servant from him is not of us." And Ibn Hajar Haytami counts as an enormity: "turning a wife's heart against her husband; or a husband's against his wife."
If your husband has any interest in saving this marriage, he's going to have to stand up for you. He is still obligated to respect his parents. However, this does not mean that he has to allow his parents to turn him against you. Kicking you out of their house is completely un-Islamic behavior. The Shari'ah requires a man to provide his wife with a peaceful, secure living environment. She cannot be forced to live with his family.
Please try to arrange for both of you to see a qualified scholar who can help you to resolve this situation.
May Allah make things easy for all of you.
And Allah knows best.
Umm Salah
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This is advice that is generally applicable to your case, given the details mentioned. However, we highly recommend--in all such cases--that one seek the counsel of a reliable local scholar or counselor.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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