Marrying in Secret? Without Parent's Permission? Don't.
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Question
I've been hearing that in the Hanafi school one can actually marry in secret. The woman I want to marry and I will be 'engaged' in a month. And then the ACTUAL nikah is going to be next summer. Due to our parents narrow mindedness .....that is the ONLY path we are allowed to take, nothing else . We both feel as if we are going to want to see each other during the school year privately, talk privately, etc. There will be no sexual intercourse involved . . . we just want to see and talk intimately w/out others always having to be around as as mahrams. Is there any way we can get married secretly 'temporarily' w/ an official Islamic judge and w/out a Wali.. . so we can do this and then have the 'actual' nikah as our parents wanted next summer? No one will know . . . . . . please advice for we fear transgressing the boundaries of Ya Rabb while being 'engaged' during the course of the school year!Answer
Walaikum assalam,
Your question was dealt with in a previous post on the Hanafi list:
According to the famous relied upon position within the school, the marriage of a woman without the approval of her wali is only valid if the person she is marrying is legally considered a suitable match (kuf') .
Otherwise, the marriage is invalid, and they would be considered to be living in zina.
This is the position adopted by the overwhelming majority of the Hanafi fuqaha, and was chosen by Ibn Abidin in his Hashiya as well. Shaykh Mahmoud Ashraf Usmani says that this is the generally adopted position of the fuqaha of the Subcontinent, and this is what I heard Shaykh Adib al-Kallas of Damascus say is generally adopted.
Given the danger of this issue, each specific case should be referred to a qualified God-fearing scholar .
It is very important to note that the fuqaha point out that even when a woman's marriage without the explicit approval of her wali is *valid*, it is: (a) going against the Sunna and (b) may well entail being bad to one's parents, which is among the most serious of enormities.
The fuqaha explain that the "approval" is not a general "acceptance" to marry but, rather, an approval of the actual marriage contract taking place, because at the legal level, the marriage contract must be seen as a civil contract where the approval of the wali is an expected part .
As for who the guardian (wali) is supposed to be, this is known, and the order of closeness of guardianship must be followed.
As such: In order to do that which is best, the two parties should press their parents to allow them to have the nikah as soon as possible, which adhering to good manners and respect. It must be noted that it is very much possible to be firm and insistent while adhering to good manners, a point lost on many. If the parents are being 'unreasonable' then the reasonable solution is to take the case to a qualified God-fearing scholar.
If such scholars seem few, then we should ask ourselves what we are doing to change this situation.
Wassalam,
Faraz Rabbani.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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