Pregnancy and my options
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Question
I think I may have accidently got a girl pregnant. I am a arab muslim and she is an african american non muslim. Neither of us would ever think abortion is an option but other than that I don't know what to do. She knows I want to spend the rest of my life with a girl that is muslim. She always says she wants to marry me and that she will become muslim but she thinks becoming muslim is that you just stop eating pork, and I explain to her its more than that. the problem is I haven't really showed her. She sometimes watches me make my salats but other than that I do really nothing to show her the virtues of Islam so I know that she isn't becoming muslim because I opened her eyes to Islam and I've been such a great example. Should I marry her for the sake of the child even though I think it is going to be hard to make the marriage work? Should I encourage her to become muslim? Or should I just have a child out of wedlock and deal with all the problems that come with it? I am willing to do whatever I should to make the child's life as easy as possible.Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.
Dear Brother,
I pray this message finds you well.
I'd like to address several issues you have raised:
1. Should you marry a non-Muslim girl?
Under normal circumstances, such a marriage would be disliked. A Muslim man is supposed to choose a woman for her religion. You yourself stated that you want to spend your life with a Muslim girl.
Nonetheless, a Muslim man is permitted to marry women of the People of the Book, that is, Jews and Christians, who believe in God, a revealed scripture, and a recognized prophet.
It is certainly a positive development that the young woman is interested in Islam. Please continue to encourage her interest. You also need to consider what has happened between you and determine to show her the best example of Islamic behavior from now on. Understand that physical contact is off limits unless you get married.
2. Your child:
When marrying a non-Muslim woman, you have to consider the effect this will have on your child's upbringing. Scholars emphasize that a Muslim man may only marry a Christian or Jewish woman if he is certain that his children will be raised as Muslims. Is this realistic in your situation?
3. Your moral responsibility:
If this child is yours, then he or she deserves to have a father. If you don't marry this woman, what will happen to your child? Please do right by this woman and your unborn child. Make amends by taking care of your responsibilities and doing everything in your power to see that your child is raised as a Muslim.
Last but certainly not least, please make Salat al-Istikhara (The Guidance Prayer)
http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=1056&CATE=4
and ask Allah Most High to show you the best direction.
And Allah knows best.
This answer was published by SunniPath and is preserved as written. Rulings can depend on circumstances; for your own situation, consult a qualified scholar.
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