Obeying One's Husband...

The husband may not prevent his wife from talking to/meeting members of her family who are Mahram to her. She is not obliged to obey him in this matter. There is no obedience to the husband when it entails disobedience to Allah. And Allah knows best.

Clarification from Sidi Faraz

Walaikum assalam,

The answer below is not entirely correct. The husband can prevent his wife from visiting her parents more than once a week, and relatives more than yearly, if he has paid the mahr that was due upfront. He can even prevent her from visiting them that much if they are able to visit her, and can prevent them from visiting her more than that amount, legally speaking. [See: Ibn Abidin, Hashiya; al-Haskafi's Dur al-Muntaqa Sharh al-Multaqa; and Qudri Basha's al-Ahkam al-Shar`iyya fi'l Ahwal al-Shakhsiyya; page numbers available upon request]

The scholars mention that there can often be a great wisdom in such a prevention on part of the husband, as the wife's parents and family can IN SOME SITUATIONS be a great stress on and threat to marriages that are undergoing internal problems, or if the husband is experiencing financial or social difficulties.

HOWEVER, as Sayyidina Shaykh Wahbi Sulaiman Ghawji, the great Albanian Hanafi scholar and authors of countless valuable books, who lived much of his adult life in Damascus, emphasizes in his book "al-Mar'atul Muslimah", the basic stuff of marriages is understanding and each spouse taking care of the best interests and rights of the other with love and mercy. As such, marriages should not be run just "legally," for, as al-Raghib al-Isfahani emphasizes, "Justice is only needed in the absence of love."

THEREFORE, if the husband, as the amir of the family, forbids his wife, within the parameters indicated in the first paragraph above, the wife is religiously obliged to obey him. She would be sinful if she did not. This is a jihad for women, and the way for a woman in a difficult situation is to be patient, to turn to her Lord to make her situation easy, and to seek to please her husband, for husbands usually only resort to radical measures if they are unhappy with their marriage. This is why our beloved Prophet, who was the best of husbands, said, "Any woman who prays her obligatory prays, obeys her Lord, and pleases her husband shall enter the Garden from any door she wishes." [aw kama qaal] This is a great rank indeed, for Abu Bakr al-Siddiq was promised this choice.

And Allah alone creates love and happiness.

Wassalam,

Faraz.